Home is Where Our Story Begins

I'm still in love with this saying and glad we placed it above our front door. Together we have one story as a family built through love but when I actually stop to think about it I realize each of our children have their own individual life stories which some how through trial and error we have molded into one very unique story. At some point each of their stories which started out as their own , then became part of ours will also once again become their own as they start their own families.

We are certainly looking forward to each of our adult children starting their own families and watching the story continue through the years.

Teenage Woes

Just as life has settled down with my 4 problem children , 3 of which are now considered adults or at least by law they are considered adults. A fifth 17 year old now decides to do an about face from a non problem child to an in your face, what ya gonna do about it...monster.

Seriously , it must be an unspoken rule between all teenagers to cause their parents as much trouble as possible before they hit that magical transforming age of 18. Or is it that at 18 they can no longer blame all their troubles in life as having or being caused by their parents ?

And....just how are we as the parent to be blamed? Why our crime is that we adopted them. How dare we do such a thing. Their lives would have been so different had we not done such a selfish thing. The grass they believe is so much greener on the other side of the fence.

Teenagers...they can be so exasperating...so rude...so selfish. Surely there must be a clause in the contract at birth where we can by pass the teenage years ? We can go from sweet loving youngsters who think the world of their parents and go right to adulthood. Now wouldn't that be wonderful ?

OK...so I'm in denial. I will hold on and bring another teen through the juvenile justice system and walk out the other side in oh say...9 months and emerge with an adult who will be no better prepared for adulthood than before walking through it.

Pre-Paid Legal Plans

For those of you who have been writing and asking about getting the Pre-Paid Legal Plan, I thought I'd review it here one more time.

Yes, we do have the plan for our family. In fact we believe so whole heatedly in the plan that my husband became certified to sell the various legal plans they carry himself.

If you are a foster family I highly recommend that you get covered by the foster family plan. The cost is very minimum and you are covered for allegations made by foster children or anybody else for that matter. Believe me if you have ever had child protective services come knock on your door because somebody has made allegations against you then you will understand just why it is so very comforting to know you can immediately pick up the phone and call your attorney.

For families who have biological and adoptive children , yes there is a plan that covers you also. If you add the Legal Shield to your coverage for 1.00 more you get 24 hour emergency access to an attorney. Well worth it since I'm hearing more and more about CPS coming to the door even after midnight.

We had CPS come our door at midnight a few years back when Max our son with Osteogenesis Imperfecta broke his arm. Seems the hospital was concerned because they had never treated this child with OI before. It was a big DUH moment...he was just recently placed with us but did that stop them from wanting inside my house and have us wake up all the children so they could talk to them ? Nope. You cannot say no to these people but your attorney can.

The legal plan is also great to have on hand for families who find themselves dealing with the mental health care system and residential care. Our plan was a great help in dealing with the on going problems we had with our daughter's care.

Just go check it out for yourself. Watch the short video and if it makes sense to you then sign up. Trying to find an attorney to represent you after the fact is impossible these days. Most attorneys will not touch CPS Cases. Along with your legal plan you get other benefits such as having your attorney set up your will at no charge. That alone costs hundreds of dollars without the plan and every one of our families should make sure they have a will/plan in place should anything ever happen to us.

Free Coffee

Last year I posted a bit about how I had been teaching the kids that there are productive things that they can be doing on the internet besides playing games. I had introduced them to a few ways to make money on line.

I introduced them to Helium, the writing site and various on line survey sites that pay. Within 6 months they all quickly fizzled out and went back to playing games but I stuck with it. Now they are wishing they stuck with it because after a year I no longer get the low paying surveys and I'm actually beginning to make some pretty good money with it.

For the next 6 months I get to do product testing for this magnificent coffee machine. Not only did I get the machine free but I get a free case of coffee of my choice for the next 6 months. How cool is that ?

In the last year we have received various products to try out. Everything from food to shampoo. The kids never know what to expect but they certainly get excited when they see the Fedex truck pull up in front of the house.

If this is something that interests you send me an email and I'll send you a list of worthwhile survey sites to join.

Great Article From Total Transformation

Found this great article on the total transformation website. It certainly rang true for me and describes many of our adopted children.

They really have some great parenting articles there that I always find myself referring to. If you check out the article and like it then sign up for their newsletters.

"Why Is Everyone Always Mad at Me?"Why Misreading Social Cues Leads to Acting Out Behavior

Just For Fun Cuisine

Some days I just have a little too much time on my hands. I had seen this on the internet last week and just knew I had to try it out.

My kids had loved the little octopus hot dogs I made a few weeks back so I knew the little ones would love these.

Recipe :

cut hot dogs into thirds , then take speghetti noodles and break them in half. Now stick the noodles through the hotdogs. You can use as many or as few as you like. When done assembling toss them into a pot of boiling water until noodles are cooked. Serve with Ketchup.

Another Late Night Release

Late last night we received the phone call we had been awaiting all day. joseph was released from out local county jail I had been checking on line all day for the court status reports but they never did update then and we had no idea what the outcome of the court hearing was.

It ended up that all charges were dropped except for one and that was for trespassing. I'm left scratching my head....he sat there for 5 months for trespass ? This court system stuff doesn't make sense to me. Joseph's original charges were worst than Matthews yet he was released under time served Matthew ended up just taking the plea deal and ended up with heavy court fines and several years of probation with no dropping of any charges. Looks like he'd have been better off to just sit there and let it all play out. I'm really just not getting where the justice is in the justice system.

I'm thrilled though to have them both safely back at home. I just hope that they get their acts together. Maybe things will change for them now that they got those "street creds" they were so longing for. Thugs...just what every mother dreams of for their son....NOT.

Ok...so we weathered this as a family and I'm ready to move on. I'm only left wondering....what's next in the life of the Meyer's ?

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Success Vs. Failure ?

The kids are all unwinding from Halloween sugar overload which leaves me grateful that Halloween only comes once a year. One would think that with the pallet of candy we had received several months ago that the kids would be happy enough with what they had. No , that was not to be because they are sick of that that candy and wanted something new plus , mom keeps that candy locked up and gives it out sparingly.

With October coming to a close and the brand new month of November to dwell on , I am left re-evaluating our past year. Our success and failures as a family. I'm hoping the new year will be a better one for us as a whole and for certain individual ones whom are intent on self destruction. The chaos which they want to create and dwell on becomes tiresome as Bob and try our best not to get sucked into their self created drama.

I have finally come to the conclusion and possibly acceptance that there is a big difference between what Bob and I would consider successful and the reality of what will eventually be considered success for some of our children. I know realize for some there are only 3 criteria :

1. That they don't become drug/alcohol dependent adults

2. That they can hold a job to support themselves.

3. That they don't turn to a life of crime and jail.

I guess I can really add a 4th and that is that whatever path they do choose they are happy with themselves. For some it's successful if they can find inner peace and happiness. However I know there is a big difference between what I consider inner peace and happiness when compared to what makes them happy. For some drama and chaos are so etched within the very fiber of their genetics that they don't appear happy unless recreating or seeking out chaos and drama.

In my now 29 years of parenting both through adoption and group home management I am slowly learning that even adopting a child as an infant and providing them with stability all their lives does not always guarantee a smooth transition to adulthood. For some I notice that during their teen years they begin to find and walk the very same path their biological family chose. It's as if something deep within them awakens and genetic predisposition surfaces and takes over their very fibers of existence. The once sweet loving child perhaps in an attempt to find themselves and differentiate themselves from part of a family to the more... I am an individual , I am me , I am one , I am "different" than all of you , changes into a child/teen hell bent on taking the roughest roads they can find in life.

This all leaves me to wonder whether it's unintentional or do they actually deliberately choose to do the very opposite of what they've been taught ? If we as parents teach them that drugs and drinking are wrong , do they then need to prove it to themselves ? If they grow up with a deep understanding of their families faith , do they then need to break every religious belief they know of just to once again prove something to themselves ? Are they even capable of thinking ahead to the reprecussions their choices hold for their futures ?

When do they learn that some choices are so bad and hold such serious reprecussions that there is no turning back ? With some choices there are no " Do Overs."

Grandma's Littlest Angel

Alayna Jayde